Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Trials and tribulations...

     Well, as I have mentioned to all of you via email, I just (within the last month or so) finished reading a book entitled The Dream Giver. It is an incredibly powerful reminder that we should always pursue our dreams. Think about it... why do we get excited when someone retires or comes into a significant amount of money? It's because they can finally do what they like to do - what makes them happy. Why should we wait until then to truly follow our hearts? Isn't the whole point of it all to be happy?

     The reason that I mention all of this is because recently I've had a really tough time staying focused on what it is that I want to do. As the time draws closer I am faced with more Giants and Bullies (Dream Giver references) than I could have ever imagined.

     I know that my Giants - moneyless and rejection being the most prevalent- are ones that everybody faces. Nothing is given to us, and realistically we enjoy it so much more when we have to fight for it. I plan to meet my Giants head on, and know that if I work hard enough and believe in myself I can do it!

     I know that my Bullies - people that seem to stand in my way - do not do so out of malice. Most only don't really understand what it is that I'm doing. But it hurts. It hurts to be told that I need to grow up. That what I'm doing is trippie. It's tough to look into the eyes of those I know and love and see that they don't really understand what I'm doing. Not to hear the verbal approval, but to sense the feeling of disapproval in their voices.

     Imagine falling in love with someone. Then seeing so many people around you not understand, question, and challenge your feelings. It's not that I'm running away to India or from something, but rather that I feel something pulling me there. I really can't explain it, just that it makes me happy to be doing it.

     People used to ask me why the change? Why the move? Why India? I used to give a long explanation: That it's the birthplace of monotheistic religion; that it's a different perspective on family and elders; that it's always been interesting to me; that it's a different world, half way across this one...

...but truth be told it's quite simple: I'm doing it because I can. Maybe you understand, maybe you don't. But it makes me happy. For the first time I've decided to do something because it makes me happy. Plain and simple. I'm scared s***less, but I'm doing it in spite of my fear.

     "Now I know a secret: I can 'take courage,' even when I feel afraid."


  1. Great insights Kyle - and yes ---- you are so smart to be following your dreams. Many talk about it and few actually do it. I am so proud of you (and happy, too!) and can't wait to read more. One of my favorite sayings is that "the days are long, but the years are short". Think about it - if you're not mindful, suddenly, you wake up and have lived an unremarkable life.

    As usual, I LOVE YOU MORE!

    xoxox MoM

  2. Hi Kyle,

    I love your blog and the fact I can reconnect with you. It was great seeing you last weekend. After speaking to and reading your blog my biggest wish for you is that you find what you are looking for. I look forward to your next post. All my love. AP