unleaving love

never have i had another person write on my blog, but when my friend Wendy sent me this story, the story as she experienced it, i knew i was to post it as is. enjoy the beauty of life...

On my drive to work I popped in my Black Keys CD, an older one, about 3 years old. The songs are new to me as I just bought the CD last week. I listened to the third track at least 4 times on the 20 minute drive to the office. I love it, very simple, easy and lovely. “You’re the One . . . the one I adore”. I got a little choked up listening to it, thinking about my own life and how someday I hope to utter those words to that special someone and have those thoughts and feelings equally reciprocated.



As soon as I got to my desk and fired up my computer, I went directly to YouTube and looked for a video of my new favorite song. I posted it to Facebook, wanting to share my morning with my virtual friends. Within minutes of posting, my office phone rang. It was a long time newspaper subscriber who’d been bounced around the building till he was patched through to me. He was a little frustrated at that point, but was thankful he reached the right person that could help him.



It always seems the older people get; the more apt they are to remind you of their age. This particular gentleman was a spry 83 years old. He also mentioned that his wife of 60 years had passed of ovarian cancer suddenly this past November. He claimed he had lost his best friend and didn’t know how he would carry on without her. He missed her so bad it hurt. All this being said with a soft calm voice, not sad. I was smiling ear to ear with tears in my eyes as he shared his story with me. I could relate. My mother passed away not quite two years ago. She was very ill with too many problems to list, including recently being diagnosed with breast cancer. She and dad would’ve celebrated their fortieth anniversary last November. Dad is lonely too. The gentleman apologized for unloading his emotions on me – a complete stranger on the other end of the phone line. I assured him that the story was beautiful and I was happy to listen. We quickly got back on track and took care of his original reason for calling. Before we hung up, he asked if he could tell me a quick story about meeting the love of his life – his wife Sammie. I was touched and anxious to hear his account of the beginning of their lives together.



At a Pascal football game in his senior year of High School, he sat on the bleachers with a couple of his buddies when a beautiful, blonde haired girl caught his eye. There was something special about this girl; the way she carried herself, her long hair, those eyes! He told his buddies he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to meet her, so he jumped up and followed her and her friends. He lost her in the crowd to never see her again. He was bummed.



Years later and a senior at TCU, he’d given up on finding love. He just figured it wasn’t in the cards for him. While in his last year of college, he made fast friends with a gorgeous girl with short blonde hair. She had had caught his eye in a similar way as the girl from the Pascal game back in high school - those eyes captivated him, she was special. He was excited when he got the opportunity to give her a ride home after a Horned Frogs game one Saturday night. They soon began dating. One day while visiting at her family home, he saw a photo of a beautiful, long-haired blonde girl sitting on a shelf. He asked her who that was. She said, “That’s me!”



He finally found her. They married soon afterwards, nearly five years after he first laid on eyes on her. He adored her for their lifetime together. Mr. Hunt, a complete stranger, has touched my soul today and renewed my faith in everlasting love. BIG SMILES!



The Black Keys ‘You're the One’ lyrics:
When I was 13
My mom said
"Son, you're the one I adore"

Now I'm old and wise
When I see your eyes
You're the one I adore

Will you be true?
Till life is up
Be the one I adore
Oh, you're the one I adore

Tears on a train...

     He scooted over towards the window and into the seat next to him. As he shifted, the tote bag that had been hung alongside swung around front. As it did so his first attempt was to use his left hand to grab and reposition the bag. But alas! the fist was already clenched around a coffee cup. His next thought was to grab the sac with his right, but it too was preoccupied - it held on to some rubbish. The man only noticed the things in his hands as the bag swung forward and landed on his crotch.


To read the rest of this story please follow this link:

A growing collection...

    I recently met a woman. Her name is Lauren. She had reddish hair, and was about my height. This is the entirety of the information that I know and have about her. So the story goes:

      As I waited on the Diversey metro platform on a somewhat frigid Saturday morning the surrounding atmosphere was completely oblivious to me. Like usual I was wearing my ear buds, the sound eliminating headphones that kept outside noises out. I thought of them as my shields, my deflectors of the world, and was unaware of little around me when I was under their protection. 

      At eight in the morning the El. often seemed all but the same as it always did. Though people changed and the weather varied time to time, experience to experience, it was almost always somewhat more of the same. Same city sounds, same city smells, same people - some attractive, some not; some unique, some bland, some neither nor. Like any other daily routine the wait for the train was simply a part of my day, just not a notable one.

     When the brown line train finally arrived it aligned itself to the platform in such a way that I found myself facing the gap in between two of the cars. In the most brief of moments I was forced to decide whether I wanted to board the car on the left or the car on the right. My choice was made by her.

     I would find out her name was Lauren, but only after telling myself I would not settle for letting beauty simply pass me by. When the train pulled up to Diversey and I was faced with the choice of cars I happened to take a quick glance to each side. The left car option appeared as I expected it to - a small assortment of non distinguishable people slowly filing on. But the right car offered something different: a tall, beautiful woman waiting to board. I quickly decided that though I would only be on the train for one stop I might as well spend that time with a pretty woman in my company. I decided that breakfast would be a healthy diet of eye candy. 

     The train pulled out from the station, and as we rode in silence - or at least in the lack of conversation from people on the train - I couldn't help but examine the girl that had persuaded my choice of cars. More and more I found myself captivated by her beauty, and by the time we pulled into the Fullerton station I couldn't help but feel the need to express my thoughts. The train slowed, I gathered my nerve, and as the doors began to open so did my mouth.

     "You are absolutely beautiful, what's your name?" I asked, though somewhat amazed the words were mine.

     She smiled, her eyes seeming to glow in only that kind of special way, and engaged me. "I'm Lauren," she admitted.

     "Lauren," I stammered out, even further engulfed by her brilliant eyes and increasingly more aware of her beauty as only heightened by her smile, "I'm Kyle. I hope you have a really great day." (though I don't remember verbatim I think this is how it all went, or maybe I hope it was this eloquent) 

     Quickly I made my way off the train, having timed my admittance to Lauren with the opening and closing of the doors. I was out of harms way, and would most likely never see Lauren again. But I seemed to be unable to find such an escape from my thoughts. I found myself thinking about her smile, and regretting that I might not ever see her again... 

     So I came up with a plan.

Things running through my head right now: my bookshelves are getting quite respectable. I can't wait for the day that my library is in need of those sliding ladders... My face feels great, and it makes me happy that I don't wear my glasses AT ALL times... I hope my plan works....

Update... This is how my home library currently looks!

Books that have been read (save for the Bible)

Books that are waiting to be read (our kick ass kitchen wall!)

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

—Lao-Tze

This was my day.

Today I discovered that I am worthy of what I am.

It came to me while shopping at Sears once I had finished with work. There was an extra 30% off of the clearance men’s clothing, and I had decided to make some purchases. Since coming back from India I have realized that I don’t really own clothes that properly fit me anymore. In fact, most of my hoodies had gone from being sweaters to jackets. My dilemma was that I already had a small room crammed from pillar to post with clothing.

At that moment I did what most shoppers do under pressure: I justified the purchase. Aside from not having proper fitting clothing I also lacked grown up clothing. The button downs - as I justified – were a necessity to add to my wardrobe; and at that price I just couldn’t let the opportunity pass. As a tradeoff I decided to donate the clothing that no longer fits me. I had donated some sweaters and jackets a month back, but had avoided shedding the bulk of my clothing because of some sort of materialistic separation anxiety. But since I was determined to make the purchases I was also equally determined to give the clothing to those who need it more than I do.

In the process of making this decision I also realized something else: I had keep the ratty, the ill-fitting, the 2^nd stringer clothing because I rarely liked to wear my “good” clothes. You know the kind - the kind that you look and feel great in. It was as though I didn’t care to look my best at all times. So what if I wasn’t wearing something different all the time. When you look good you feel good; when you feel good you look good. Why not feel and look good all the time? Also... keeping old clothes that don't fit anymore is like planning for them to fit once more; It's planning for failure.

Things running through my head right now: I discovered a few things about being 30: 1) I am now a full blown grown up (by age at least; no longer am I  a 20-something). 2) I know that I am a full blown grown up for these 3 reasons: a) I like doing dishes. b) if the garbage needs to go out it goes out. c) today’s purchases had a 4 button down to 1 hoodie ratio. I also hope to be able to write a little more in the coming weeks… The fast is going well, though it really puts into focus how delicious food really is. 3 days down, 4 to go!

Rule to live life by from now on: Do something good for yourself because you deserve it. Who knows, it may even provide a positive in other ways too. The decision to buy myself new clothes was a good decision. Because of it I was also given the realization of a different kind of self value and inspired me to give what I no longer needed to those who did.

The epiphany in the snow blizzard

Today in Chicago was rough. In fact, the last two days have been almost most easily defined as mayhem. Snow if everywhere! But the good news - for me at least - is that this kind of absolute and intense weather is what I missed. The snow what one of the things (aside from those most important [people] ) that I truly missed having.

Even better yet the wait on the platform...

I'm happy to be back. And we should all be happy to see another glorious snow.

things going through my head right now: I'm so happy to be able to be writing again. I decided that my book, though it will still span 2 years, will be a collection of short stories. The tale will be constructed how it should be: by the reader. It will be The Epilogue. Our own imagination is the most powerful weapon of all.


But here's to the best snow day in years! I went out in a blizzard, came home in the snow. Got paid for responsibility and dived off a stairway. Today was a god day!

Sights and sounds from Chicago

As the days pass and the snow piles get bigger, I find that I am more often than not missing India. Not just the good things - like food, cheapness, colors, etc... - but also the things in which I didn't enjoy while I was there; I miss bartering with people for EVERYTHING; I miss having all sorts of colors and religions and customs everywhere at all times.

Another side effect of this is that because of my trip to India I have begun to pay closer attention to what it is that is here. It is not that India has more to offer (well, a little more history and culture) but that because I've lived in the west for so long, because I have lived in Chicago for a while, these things go unnoticed because they aren't new and different.

So here's some things to compare to India, some thing to enjoy, and some random sights and sounds.

This was the Central station in New Delhi; the main hub of the metro there. It was super busy, and yet it was Saturday afternoon. It greatly differed to what the Lake stop on the Red Line (part of Chicago's "El" train system - the Red line being the major line, and the Lake stop being a major stop in the "Loop") had to offer:

The other day I was actually at that same stop when a young man began to preach about God, Jesus, and the Bible. I was impressed with the guy's tenacity and huevos to make such a speech. But what I found most interesting was the music also being played in the background by another gentleman (they weren't "performing" together)

The best part is that the song is "I can see clearly now." It's hard to hear on the clip, but it was amazing to stand there and here one man sing how "it's gonna be a bright, sunshiny day," while another preached about God. 

The other thing I miss is the "openness" of trains in India. I recorded this clip while on the El. yesterday...

Though it's a serene and beautiful setting, I couldn't help but think how much better it would have looked had I been able to film it through an open door... as I did so often in India...

Everywhere I go I have favorite things that I like to do. Here in Chicago it's skating at The Bean and painting in the park.Yet one of the memories I hold dearest in relation to a location were those open trains - just the feeling that they produced. It is unlike any other I have had.

The other thing I miss is the liveliness of the trains in India. It seems now like the train here is quite mundane...

...by comparison at least

But Chicago is wonderful, and is a means to an ends for me. In the meantime I hope to enjoy the snow!

Random things running through my head: I wish the El. cost the same 12 to 50 cents that the metro trains in India did... I hope that the pair of jeans I bought and brought back from India look OK after I had them sewn and fixed... I'm excited to already have 17,000 words of my book completed, and hope to start editing some of it already written by next week. Also, it's nice to be working again. Makes me feel like a contributor to society and life rather than a drag... Traveling was GREAT, but next time I can wait to incorporate some work wherever I go...